Pink Elephants on Parade

everythingwolf

2008-05-27T08:35:00.000-07:00

Wolf shirts are lovely. By wolf shirt, I really mean any thick cotton shirt with a realistic image of a wild animal, preferably a tiger, lion, or wolf, because they suggest a love for fierce creatures of the jungle and/or forest. Typically the edges of the image fade into the background of the shirt. Extra points if the image is made to look like the animal is tearing through the fabric--these actually have a name: "Breakthrough shirts." !!! So much to learn. An entire unexplored world of fashion. To wear one ironically is the height of style. They must be authentic, however; recently Urban Outfitters has been selling thin cotton deep v's with wolfs on them. A real wolf shirt can never be a deep v. Only purchase them at nature stores, stores with the word "mountain" in the name, and zoos, i guess. Or online:
http://www.animalshirts.net/
http://www.everythingwolf.com/

See how cool this girl looks:

P.S. I also like seaweed and brussels sprouts!

2008-05-25T11:37:00.000-07:00

Dear Highlights has been one of my favorite advice columns since I started reading it in the dentist's office long ago. Reading the problems and advice is very amusing, especially when you consider the time between when the child mails his/her letter and when they receive a response via the distribution of the magazine. Here are some favorites:

Annoying Sibling
My brother keeps bothering me whenever I play video games. He copies the voices from the games. I try to pretend not to hear him, but it doesn’t work.

Musical Interests
My friends like rap and other music that I don’t like. I like country music and southern gospel, but I’m too embarrassed to tell them. How can I get over being too shy?

Different Tastes
I like to eat spinach, but at school nobody really likes it. I have friends, but I feel kind of different because it’s only me that likes spinach. Please help me.
P.S. I also like seaweed and brussels sprouts!

I like the idea that the author feels that his love for typically scorned vegtables will make him an outcast. Also I like the idea that the kid who likes gospel is struggling to figure out the perfect way tell his friends about his musical preferences. The tone makes me think of a gay teen who wants to come out but doesn't know how.

more here

Huh, Craigslist?

2008-05-25T11:30:00.000-07:00

I’m not quite sure of the point of this sections of Craigslist, but it is entertaining for sure. Here’s a rant posted in the NYC Rants and Raves section:

TO THE BUTT UGLY, BALLHEADED, TRAILER TRASH PIECE OF SHIT (MISS PEGGY NEAR YOU)

Reply to: pers-694424643@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-05-25, 12:39PM EDT

From a far, you look like shit. You’re a ghetto trash bitch. You will never be or amount to anything. You couldn’t keep up in ANY fitness class if you lousy life depended upon it, never mine trying to be a fitness instructor. HA!. WHAT A JOKE. ALL THAT MONEY YOU PAID DOWN THE TUBES. don’t know you, people were talking about you the moment you walked in? I doubt anyone who doesn’t mirror you would take your class if you were the last bitch squatting. Oh.. sorry. You can’t. You remind of the bitch who lives next door. Your ASS is WAY, WAY, WAY too big LITERALLY. YOU’RE FUCKED! YOU’RE UGLY! YOUR FACE AND BRAIDS NEEDS TO MAKE OVER. YOU’RE NOTHING BUT A LARGE, MASSIVE CELLULITE, DELUSIONAL BLACK SHIT STAIN. BEING YOUR ASS IS SO FUCKING HUGE, A COFFEE TABLE CAN ACTUALLY REST ON YOUR ASS WITH NOOOOO EFFORT. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

I don’t really know what the subject of this rant did to deserve such harsh attacks, but maybe she can at least appreciate the fact that the poster is uneducated enought to use “literally” the wrong way.